I just want to thank everyone for their kind and supportive comments and thoughts regarding my last post about how I sometimes feel lame being a stay-at-home mom.
In thinking about it, I realize a lot of my issues come from my social anxiety and how I feel uncomfortable and awkward when talking with professionals who don't have kids. As an active volunteer, I frequently find myself meeting with employed, successful men and women. I often feel like we don't connect. This is more my issue though and in reality there are hobbies or other issues of linkage that we could easily talk about. It's just easier for me when there is a base level of connection and I don't have to "work" to find commonality.
Furthermore, I'm realizing that I need to make new "parent friends" (or at least parent acquaintances). All of my friends work and I don't feel like I have anyone I can easily chat with who has kids Harper's (or even Hayden's age). I need friends/acquaintances locally who are stay-at-home parents with kids around my kids age. I need that outlet. We don't have to become best buds, but it would be a much needed area of support and add quite a bit of value to my current life.
When Hayden was Harper's age, we were having regular playdates with two moms and their adorable little girls. I don't have that with Harper. Back in the day, those playdates helped me maintain my sanity and I think I need to really work hard at getting that sort of action in my present life.
It's not as easy to do nowadays - I am busier in general and I also have Hayden. Simply put, I'm not as available. My time isn't as open. But I need that. I need to be able to chat, vent, and commiserate with other stay-at-home parents. I think it would help me to feel more secure and grounded in my career as a stay-at-home mom and validate a lot of my current qualms.
In sum, I am happy. My life is good. My job as a stay-at-home mom/volunteer extraordinaire is fulfilling. At the same time, I could use a little extra support in the area of "parent friends". I'm a work in progress, but aren't we all?
I have a new respect for stay at home moms. It is harder than my paying job and much more rewarding.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, I think you are doing a great job. I'm home with my kids too and struggle daily with feeling like I'm doing the right thing, feeling like I've lost who I am by not having a "job", not connecting with most adults, not being interesting... it goes on and on.
ReplyDeleteI think meeting up with other stay at home parents is a great idea and I hope you can find some you click with.