I want to be liked. Not just by most people but by everyone. I honestly cannot fathom the notion of anyone not liking me. I really can't. And I don't say or mean that in an arrogant, conceited way. I am being sincere.
The thought of someone not liking me does not compute in my mind and actually upsets me. I constantly try to please everyone and not disappoint anyone because I think and feel that if I do "fall short" that they won't like me.
I see myself as a nice, good person. Never mean. Never rude. Always honest, dependable, responsible, and competent. To be less than that, is not me - or at least my definition of myself.
I think I have been like this since birth. I have always wanted to please my parents - especially my mother. My mother is an amazing, strong, competent woman. But like me, she is very critical of both herself and others. From what I recall, she never outwardly presented herself as critical or judgmental, but I think I must have "felt" it. I never wanted to disappoint her - or anyone for that matter.
I wanted to be perfect. In many ways, I still do. I am working at accepting myself as I am - and trying to convince myself that I can't be perfect. I have to accept that it's okay to be "good enough". It's a hard thing to accept though and I'm not sure I believe it.
At my core, I still strive to be perfect and to be liked - by everyone.