I spoke too soon about Harper being off the bottle - she is back on it. She wasn't handling the transition well, so we have decided to go back to having two 9-ounce bottles of whole milk a day - one at naptime and one before bed.
I couldn't handle the crying anymore. It wasn't getting better. She wasn't adjusting to the change like I thought she would.
Harper is a strong-willed child and until she is ready, I don't feel like forcing her to adjust (because it doesn't seem like we can force Harper to do anything!). We just have to go with the flow and follow her lead.
At some point hopefully she will be ready to give up the bottle. Like people have noted (and I know), she won't be going to college drinking from a bottle (well, she might be drinking from bottles - but not baby bottles with milk in them).
I have to admit that having not successfully made this transition makes me feel like a failure (my 'f' word). I know it shouldn't, but it does. I put pressure on myself to get her off the bottle. I felt like as a parent, she needed to be bottle-free. I hear from parents and doctors that babies should be off the bottle by their first birthdays (that is not to say that everyone expects babies to be off the bottle by their first birthdays, but it seems that most people/entities do). I caved to the external influences and tried to force my daughter to accommodate to society's demands/expectations. I feel guilty for that. I don't want to limit or inhibit her in any way (relatively speaking). I don't want to force society's demands/expectations on her. Yet here I was doing that to her - and she's hardly even a year old!
I have learned from my mistake. I need to just let her be.
So here we are - back on the bottle. And that's okay. It makes her happier, which makes me happier. And I am okay with that. It's going to be okay.
I know your guilt feeling all too well! I tried to force my oldest son off the bottle after his pedi made me feel horrible about him still being on it at his one yr check up. It SO didn't work. I, like you, gave it back to him to make him happy. Needless to say, he dropped it on his own at 15 months and never looked back. She will do it when she's ready. Like my Grandmother says, "She won't go to Kindergarten with a bottle in her mouth!!!"
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty! just know that you did what's best for her regardless of society!
I just wouldn't worry about it. She'll let go of it, when she's ready. I didn't have a hard time getting Bree to switch from a bottle to sippy cup BUT I did have concerns that my kid was never going to walk. She was 15 months old before she started walking, and EVERYONE had me worried that something was wrong with her. I tried to help her walk, and aid her in it...all she wanted to do was walk on her knees which was more like a bouncing...which caused more concern for my MIL who feared she was going to mess up her legs doing that-she had even had her chiropractor lecture me. Finally, I just stopped worrying about and trying to force her into walking, and one day she just stood up and took off running! I wish I was lying, but that's how it went.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard not to listen to what other people's kids are doing, because I'm guilty of doing that and making myself feel bed. But in reality, you just gotta let her grow and develop at the pace that she wants to grow & develop.
I hate that feeling of failure. I had it with Graham, it was intense because Grace was so advanced and he was so behind.
ReplyDeleteIt took me forever to just accept that everything happens in time.
My daughter(also named Harper) took a bottle until she was 2, we cut her back to two bottles a day when she was 1 and then we eventually cut back to one at bedtime because there was no way she was going to sleep without it. Just go with the flow and when she is ready it will be a breeze.
ReplyDeleteFollow what makes your child happy with his/her milk that is the most suitable milk for him/her.
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