my road to conception.

Today: April 30th, 2010
Flashback Four Years: April 30th, 2006
The significance of that day: Hayden’s conception.

Most people probably don’t know the exact day that their child was conceived. I do. Hayden’s conception did not come about easily. It was a journey. Something I have come to refer to as “my infertility journey.”

Here is my story:

My husband and I began our infertility journey in the spring of 2005. I hadn’t had my period since stopping my birth control pill - which was over a year prior. So I knew I needed to see my doctor for assistance.

After several failed rounds of Provera, a medicine that was supposed to “jump start” my period, it was decided that I needed to begin taking Clomid (100 mg), a fertility drug that should not only help me get my period but also help me get pregnant.

At the same time, I requested that they test my husband for any male-related fertility issues. I did two rounds of Clomid before my husband’s sperm was finally tested and came out "slightly abnormal." At that point, the doctor suggested combining the Clomid with Intrauterine Inseminations or IUIs.

We did 5 failed rounds of that. By this point, a year had passed and we still weren’t pregnant.

After every failed attempt, my heart broke a little more. My hope was dwindling, and my disappointment was immense. Every month, I hoped and I waited, and then I failed. I then mourned, and did it all over again. Month after month. It was excruciatingly painful and unbelievably frustrating.

We finally decided to make an appointment with a fertility specialist; however, before the scheduled appointment I completed a hysterosalpingogram (also known as an HSG or dye test) to check if my tubes were blocked. Although it wasn't likely that my tubes were blocked, we wanted to cover all the bases we possibly could before meeting with the fertility specialist.

I underwent the procedure on April 18th, 2006. Our appointment with the fertility specialist was scheduled for May 16th. Then as I had done every month previously, I took my home pregnancy test, just to see if the impossible had occurred. It was May 12th, and to my surprise, the result was positive. I was pregnant.

I had not taken any medication that month, and had not undergone an IUI. It was completely without assistance, and I was actually pregnant. I immediately told my husband. He was as elated as me. We waited a couple days and I took another home pregnancy test - on May 14th, 2006 (Mother’s Day). It came back positive as well.

At that point, I had as much “proof” as I needed. We cancelled our appointment with the fertility specialist and made an appointment with my OB/GYN.

Hayden was conceived April 30th, 2006. He was born Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 at 9:00 a.m., weighing 7 lb, 12 oz.

He is 3-years-old now. He is happy. He is healthy. He is our “surprise miracle.”

bros before hoes - or maybe not.

Scene: In the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Hayden is going potty and Randy gives me a hug from behind.

Note: Hayden can be very territorial regarding me and when Randy shows me affection he tends to get jealous. He says things like, “she’s mine… don’t do that” as he attempts to remove Randy from any embrace he may have with me.

Hayden: Don’t do that. (Looking at me) Do you like that?
Me: Yes. It’s sweet.
Hayden: Do you like Hayden or Daddy best?
Me: I like you both the same.
Hayden: Pick.(Randy and I start cracking up)
Me: I like you both the same.
Hayden: You have to pick one.
(Hayden is now laughing because we are laughing, but at the same time it becomes apparent that he is not kidding. He really wants to know which person I like best: Hayden or daddy.)
Me: I can’t pick. I like you both the same.
Hayden: No. You have to pick one.(we are still laughing hysterically)
Me: I can’t. You are both very special. Now let’s go to bed.(Now we are in the bedroom and I’m giving him a hug goodnight before Randy continues our bedtime routine by reading him a story.)
Hayden: (to me) You like me?
Me: Yes. I like you.
Hayden: I pick you too mommy.
Randy: What? You are picking mommy as your favorite?
Hayden: Yes.
Randy: Hayden. You can’t do that. What about daddy? It’s bros before hoes.(Nice one Randy. Gotta love it. I then gave Hayden a kiss and deftly left the room. It is bros before hoes.)

playing doctor.

hayden with some of his doctor tools.

check out my writing.

A little over two weeks ago, Beth at Laugh Until You Cry tagged me in a fun handwriting game. I have been waiting until my lovely husband showed me how to use the scanner to play - finally I have been taught. So here goes:

The rules:

Write down the following, snap a picture (or scan the document), post it, and tag others.

1. Name/Blog Name
2. Right handed, left handed or both
3. Favorite letters to write
4. Least favorite letters to write
5. Write: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
6. Write in caps:
CRAB
HUMOR
KALEIDOSCOPE
PAJAMAS
GAZILLION
7. Favorite song lyrics
8. Tag 7 people
9. Any special note or drawingNow it's time for the tagging... I'm going to tag
The Girl @ The Girl Next Door Grows Up
Leslie @ Five to Nine
Ian @ The Daily Dose of Reality
Samantha @ Apple Juice and Milk
Marianne @ Diary of a Fickle White Woman
Corinne @ Trains, Tutus, and Tea Time
Sarah @ The Stroller Ballet
Tami @ 29 and Holding
Anne @ All of the Above
Melanie @ Ode to Motherhood
The Drama Mama @ The Scoop on Poop

P.S. If anyone else wants to play, consider yourself tagged. It's fun!

And thanks again to Beth for tagging me... I liked playing!!!

monday minute.

It's time for Ian’s ‘Monday Minute’.

The rules are simple. Copy his questions. Answer them. Link back to Ian’s blog.

Here goes...

• What drugs have you done in your life? I have taken friends’ Adderall that wasn’t prescribed for me. I have probably done this a total of 5-7 times in my life for “special occasions.” The medicine makes me feel more relaxed and I tend to be able to socialize better when I take it (so the “special occasions” are parties or social events).
• A/S/L? Well, I honestly didn’t know what this meant until Ian told me. Apparently, it means age/sex/location. So… 28/Female/Arkansas.
• Do you pick your nose? Honestly, sometimes. Not for fun or anything, but occasionally it needs to be done. Am I going to be de-followed for that admission?
• What's your favorite childhood cartoon? Sesame Street. I loved it… as I got older there were definitely other favorites, but I know I was a big fan of Sesame Street as a young child.
• List the URL, of what you believe to be the best blog post you've ever done. I have four that I think are pretty good (I have been blogging for 2 years now so it's not easy to just pick one favorite). One is a sentimental post about something my mom said that made me happy. The second post is about kid-spacing guilt and having a second child. The third is about my career path, and my final favorite is just a compilation of ‘Hayden pictures’.

getting to know you...

Today I am participating in Keely from MannLand5's 'Getting to know YOU' blog hop.The rules are simple: copy the questions, answer them, post the questions/answers, and link back to Keely’s blog.

Here goes:

1. If you could star in any movie genre... what would it be... romance... horror… comedy... suspense or action? I guess comedy, which I arrived at through a process of elimination.
2. Do you recycle? Yes I do! We recycle cardboard, aluminum, glass, and paper/newspaper.
3. Have you ever been to a strip club? No… but they kind of intrigue me. I think I secretly would like to go to one. Not alone, but with a group of people. It would be so enlightening.
4. Do you have a nickname? Some of my friends call me ‘Melba Toast’. Randy (my husband) calls me ‘Mel’ sometimes.
5. What's a name you can't stand to be called? Missy… I used to go back that when I was in the 5th/6th grade, but now I can’t stand it. Fortunately, no one calls me ‘Missy’.
6. What are your Summer staples? Flip flops and sunglasses.
7. What was the last thing you bought for yourself? Some new clothes.
8. Are you happy with your boob size? I guess… although they could really use a lift! I definitely don’t want them bigger (they are a 34C – I know some of you think it is ridiculous for me to be so honest about my bra size, but I could care less about it… I mean, it’s just a number). Anywho… I wouldn’t even care if they were a little smaller. A ‘B’ cup perhaps?

Well that's it. Have a fabulous Sunday and head on over to Keely's blog if you want to participate!

blog anniversary...

Guess what? Two years ago from today was my first blog post. Pretty neat, huh? I suppose I could make a huge deal out of it. But I'm not. It's a date like any other... but I still wanted to acknowledge it.

So here is my acknowledgement: Happy blog anniversary to me and my blog!

random ramblings.

Random Ramblings–

• I have two “meetings” today. One from 8:30am-3:30pm and the other one from 4:30pm-6:00pm. And I don’t even have a job. These are related to my volunteer work. Fortunately, Hayden goes to school this morning and my mom is able to watch him this afternoon. Busy, busy, busy.
• My “friend” still hasn’t arrived. I am now on Cycle Day 73 for those of you keeping track.
• I hate when people don’t use their blinkers. Seriously. I hate it.
• My throat has been hurting. Not cool.
• This Sunday will be my 2-Year "Blog Anniversary."
• Barbara Walters was on ‘The View’ yesterday and Hayden was very pleased to see his favorite lady. Hayden: “Look mommy… Barbara is there today. That makes me happy.”
• Hayden kissed his “girlfriend” on the lips at school last week. Apparently it was like a “movie theater kiss.” Oh heaven help me! (He also told me that he loves her more than he loves me… awesome.)
• I don’t know how to use the scanner on our printer. I would really like to know how. I feel silly for not knowing how. My husband knows how to use it (and uses it relatively often). I need him to teach me.
• In response to my ‘busy, busy, busy’ post from yesterday, my sister commented that she is one of those people I can’t figure out who likes to be busy. We are so different in so many ways – this being one of them.
• I need to re-group. Seriously. I have got to get my “game on.” (Is that even a phrase? Did I just make that up?!?)
• We went out to dinner Tuesday night to celebrate Randy’s birthday. They sang a zesty song to him, which included the wearing of a sombrero. After Randy put it on, my mom did too. Good times.

busy, busy, busy.

Do you like feeling busy? I don’t. I absolutely hate it.

I like having breaks: having unplanned time in which I can do absolutely nothing. I like having lots of those moments. I thrive on them.

When I am busy and have a lot on my plate, I feel overwhelmed and drained. I posted something on 'Facebook' saying that I was busy and that I wanted a break and someone said that they actually love being really busy. Seriously? People actually like being really busy? Who? I can’t imagine.

A constantly full calendar with activities and events every day weighs on me. I feel as if I can’t breathe and I yearn for relief: for a break in the action.

And apparently for other people they thrive on this sort of thing – which honestly baffles me.

It really is hard for me to imagine. As I yearn for my respite someone else is craving more action. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

father-son jam session.

Randy and Hayden with their guitars.

monday minute.

It's time for Ian’s ‘Monday Minute’.

The rules are simple. Copy his questions. Answer them. Link back to Ian’s blog.

Here goes...

• Ever take a shit in the woods? Uh no. Negative on that one.
• If you won $1,000, what's the first thing you would do with it besides give me a cut? A very pertinent question! Randy just won $1,000 is an NCAA Final Four Basketball Pool at my dad’s company. We used about $100 on donuts for the employees of the company. The rest we are putting in the bank. We were going to put the money towards a new laptop for me; however, we are practical people and money is tight – so it needs to go to the bank. Suffice it to say, the vast majority of the money will probably end up going towards groceries and other thrilling purchases.
• What's your favorite phrase? I don’t know. Maybe woop woop? It amuses me.
• Fill in the blank - the world would be a better place if ______ left the planet. Ignorance.
• How do you take your coffee or tea? I like “fruity” teas with a TON of ‘Splenda’.

getting to know you...

Today I am participating in Keely from MannLand5's 'Getting to know YOU' blog hop.The rules are simple: copy the questions, answer them, post the questions/answers, and link back to Keely’s blog.

Here goes:

1. Men’s chests… hairy or hairless? Definitely hairless!
2. How often do you run red lights? VERY rarely. Maybe once a year, and it’s always a “close call.”
3. If you could raid any celebrity's closet, who's would you raid? Definitely Reese Witherspoon. She is petite like me and has SUPER cute and cool clothes!
4. Would you rather have more followers/friends on Facebook, Twitter, or your Blog? My blog.
5. What makes you feel sexy? Hmmm… Sometimes when I put on some cute jeans and a nice top I feel sexy. Or when I put on a fancy dress. I also feel sexy when I feel "fit" and when I have been eating well and exercising. I don’t think of myself as sexy though… so this is a difficult question.
6. I get excited when...........? Hayden gets excited... when I watch a good show...when I get to eat a yummy meal... when I get alone time... when I buy Hayden or Randy "surprise" gifts... when I exercise... there are more things, but I think I will leave it at that.
7. Are you the "outdoorsy" type or more "indoorsy"? I would say indoorsy. I just like to hang out inside where the temperature is regulated and I don’t have to deal with bugs and stuff.
8. Would you rather have your dream home or a million dollars? This is a very timely question. My answer is a million dollars. A lot of the money though would go towards our dream home that we already have designed. So it would be a win-win. As is, it’s going to be a long time (at least 5-10 years) before we get to see our dream home come to fruition. And the hard truth is that it may never be built.
   

Well that's it. Have a fabulous Sunday and head on over to Keely's blog if you want to participate!

happy birthday randy!

Today is my lovely husband’s birthday. Here are some adorable childhood pictures of him:He is now 32-years-old. Woop woop to Randall K.!

We celebrated his birthday last night by having dinner and drinks with some friends at Ella’s Restaurant at Carnall Hall.

We had a great time.

the birthday boy with don and will

leslie, jeff, courtney, jamie, and naomi

will, chris, jen, aixa, and sage

randy and jason (his brother) - randy is trying to be taller than his brother

jason is now trying to be taller than randy

megan and jason

Today Randy is traveling to Kansas City for his good friend’s Bachelor Party. Hopefully they won’t get into too much trouble.

Here is a picture of Randy and Bill (the “bachelor”) dating back to 2001. Aren’t they lovely?
Have fun boys!

feel good friday.

It's Friday and time for The Girl Next Door Grows Up's meme - Feel Good Friday. Today I have opted to write about 6 things that made me happy this week.

Here goes:

1. The air conditioner in the addition finally got fixed! Now my workout isn’t sweltering.
2. My friends in both my real world and blog world are wonderful and uplifting. Your support, kind words, and encouragement are truly appreciated!
3. My camera has returned – fixed! (see prior post for details)
4. The weather has been BEAUTIFUL. This past week’s weather has been amazing: sunny and warm.
5. My husband – he has been trying very hard to cheer me up and surprised me with some beautiful flowers yesterday.
6. Hayden got a new bank. He needed a bank and we wanted to get him something that matched our style. We found an awesome bank online and it arrived this week. It’s super cool and cute to boot!

Well that's it for my 'Feel Good Friday'. My thanks again to 'The Girl' and her meme. 'Feel Good Friday' is a great way to end the week!

it's a "bone"

Following is a conversation between Hayden and Randy (note: Alfie and Izzy are dogs).

The scene was our bathroom before bed – he was about to go potty before getting into bed.

A little back-story: Hayden has been very preoccupied with his penis lately. He likes to touch it a lot and just play with it. Good times.

So here is what Hayden said to Randy in the bathroom:

Hayden: Let me see your penis.
Randy: No. Not right now.
Hayden: Please. It’s like a bone. It’s a neat bone. Like Alfie has a bone and Izzy has a bone. It’s a neat toy.

At this point we are laughing hysterically and instruct Hayden to just go potty – and he did.

When Hayden was younger he described Randy’s penis as a bone, but he hadn't brought that up in a while… until now. So Randy’s penis is a bone: a neat toy. Good to know.

"happy" tongue.

Hayden has a new favorite thing: fruit roll-ups. Now I know they aren’t exactly healthy (I am sure they are terrible). But if he wants one, he is allowed to have one per day.

Generally, he has one every day. (Please no one bash me for this – I don’t need it.)

Anywho… he LOVES them and he thinks it’s neat that they turn his mouth the color of the respective fruit roll-up.

I find it amusing too. It makes for a very "happy" tongue (and a very happy Hayden… which in turn makes for a very happy mommy).

our peaceable kingdom. a wonderful book.

I have posted this same post before, but I felt compelled to post it again - because this book is seriously amazing. Everyone should have it. It's beautiful.

Now onto the post:

I have a wonderful book. It is called Our Peaceable Kingdom. It features a compilation of 100 photographs by John Drysdale – a British photographer. The photographs depict children, people, and animals intermingling in a friendly, whimsical manner.

The photographs are endearing, amusing, and beautiful. I love this book. For some reason it makes me unbelievably happy to browse the pages and become enchanted with the images I encounter.

I find three photographs particularly appealing. The first is of a little girl laying on a baby hippopotamus. The photo is called ‘Embraceable You’ and was taken in 1985. The second is called ‘The Secret’ and features a little girl perched on an elephant’s leg, lifting up its ear, and looking in (apparently telling him a secret as the photo’s title suggests). The elephant is “smiling” and the little girl looks adorable. It was taken in 1972. My final favorite is more recent: 1989. It is titled ‘Hand in Hand’. In it, a small child is holding hands with two small chimps. The child is in the middle as the trio walk together in a field. Absolutely adorable.

So anywho… Our Peaceable Kingdom. A book of beauty and brilliance.

monday minute. the sex edition.

It's time for Ian’s ‘Monday Minute’.

The rules are simple. Copy his questions. Answer them. Link back to Ian’s blog.

Here goes...

• At what age did you lose your virginity? 18. I have only had sex with one person.
• Any good sex tips or advice? Nope.
• Lights on or off when you have sex? Light off… Definitely.
• Have you ever been caught in the act of having sex? Nope. Although I have done “it” in a room in which another person was in there and apparently was aware of what was going on… I was a bit inebriated though and obviously didn’t care (this was many years ago… sorry Dave).
• Ever catch your parents (or kids) having sex? Not to my knowledge.

getting to know you...

Today I am participating in Keely from MannLand5's 'Getting to know YOU' blog hop.The rules are simple: copy the questions, answer them, post the questions/answers, and link back to Keely’s blog.

Here goes:

1. What color do you wear the most? Probably gray or black.
2. Would you rather have $10,000 dollars or a dream vacation? $10,000. Then I could do whatever I want with it. And although a dream vacation would be lovely – I could still do a cheaper vacation with part of the $10,000.
3. Do you have a weird, quirky or unusual habit? Yes. I am a quirky person: odd in quite a few ways. I think one of my more interesting quirks has to do with numbers. I like certain numbers and dates (for no real reason) better than others. I’ll publish posts at certain times because I like the number. I’ll leave the house (if I can) at certain times because I like the number. I am fascinated with dates – and like certain dates better than others. I like certain addresses better than others. And the list goes on and on…
4. I really need to start..........? Going with the flow more and being more positive.
5. What was the first blog you ever read? I’m not really sure. This is a tough question! It may have been my friend Heather’s blog A Mom Uncommon… I’m not really sure.
6. Do you collect anything? Nope. Aside from Hayden’s “masterpieces” and other significant things associated with him (hospital bracelet, birthday invitations, etc.), I don’t think I collect anything.
7. How old were you when you had your first kiss? 17-years-old. I know. Lame, right? He’s actually my brother-in-law now. Weird story. I should blog about it sometime. (There was one boy who I kissed when I was 16-years-old. We were friends and thought we should see what kissing was all about – I don’t count that kiss though because we didn’t like each other. It wasn’t a “real kiss” – it was more of an experiment.)
8. Do you text/twitter while driving? Not WHILE I’m driving - I will do it at stop-lights though.

Well that's it! Have a fabulous Sunday and head on over to Keely's blog if you want to participate!

happy things.

So my lovely “real-life” friend and blog friend Leslie tagged me for a post.

My mission is to write about 10 things that I am happy about right now (ironically, she posted her '10 things she loved about today’ (and tagged me) on the same day that I posted my not-so-happy post. I thought that was amusing).

Anywho – here are my 10 things:

1. It is BEAUTIFUL outside right now – sunny, warm, and perky (yes, I said perky – because that is how it feels to me).
2. I am finally getting some down-time and it feels amazing!
3. I had a great walk/run on my treadmill earlier this afternoon which felt amazing.
4. I am having dinner this evening with some good friends: Jamie, Ryan, and Parker Wetsell.
5. I am having dinner tomorrow evening with none other than Leslie Nix (the person who tagged me for this post) and her lovely family: Don and Jack.
6. Randy won over $1000 in my dad’s company’s NCAA Final Four bracket pool – which he wants to put towards my “new laptop fund.” (I plan on using some of the money to treat the company’s employees to a special treat – I’m still trying to figure out what to do for them.)(And Randy actually won the pool – I came in 6th – I think there were over 200 entries.)
7. I feel like today is a “re-start day” helping me to get back to a “good place” (and that is a good feeling).
8. I got some work done which makes me feel accomplished.
9. I was asked to be the President of the ‘Women’s Giving Circle’ beginning in 2012 which is quite an honor (I accepted the position).
10. I bought Hayden some watercolor paint and we painted pictures together. (I hadn't bought him paint before because I am a neat-freak and don’t like messes – but paints really aren't that messy and he is old enough now that it’s actually not messy at all. I feel guilty for not having already bought the paint – but better late than never, right?)

feel good friday.

It's Friday and time for The Girl Next Door Grows Up's meme - Feel Good Friday. Today I have opted to post some adorable, never-before-seen, pictures of Hayden that make me smile (meaning that the pictures are "old" - pre-dating the blog).

Here goes:Well that's it for my 'Feel Good Friday'. My thanks again to 'The Girl' and her meme. 'Feel Good Friday' is a great way to end the week!

P.S. I just want to thank all my blog friends for your kind comments in regards to my not-so-happy post. I really do and did appreciate it.