If I could travel back in time, I would go back to July 8th, 1988. That is the day my granddaddy passed away - he was 60-years-old.
I was almost 7-years-old when died.
My granddaddy had been a wonderful source of happiness in my life. He had loved me so much, and when he suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack, I was traumatized. I vaguely remember aspects of the funeral and driving to the farmhouse to visit with family, but I was numb (my granddaddy had passed away at the “family farmhouse”). I was in shock.
Recalling those memories, I see myself from above. It’s as if I dissociated – which I very well may have done.
My mother has told me that I had an extremely hard time coping with his death. I can’t remember my granddaddy (I have essentially blocked out all aspects of him in my mind); however, whenever I think about him I almost start to cry. The emotions are extreme.
To this day, I don’t cope well with death or loss. I can’t even think about it. The thoughts and feelings associated with death and dying overwhelm me.
So if I could travel back in time, I would travel back to that summer and comfort myself. I would hold “little Melissa’s” hand, hug her, comfort her, and let her know that it will be okay. I would support her and be there for her.
9.24.1927 - 7.8.1988
so sweet...it's amazing how something that happened so long ago shapes you as the person you are now.
ReplyDeleteThat was very touching, Melissa.
ReplyDeleteAww Melissa! I know how you feel. My grandpa also died in 1988, I was 8, and it was sudden. He died from a yellowjacket sting. I was close to him and adored him and I took it really, really hard. I was so numb and it didn't really set in what had happened until the funeral and then I completely lost it. It's still hard for me to think about/talk about (I've got tears welling up just telling you this). Hugs to you, friend!
ReplyDeleteA very touching post and tribute Melissa.
ReplyDeleteThat was a great post! You have inspired me to post about the loss of my stepfather, the man who raised me.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry your Grandad is no longer with you, but he will always be watching over you. :)
OH MELISSA I CANT TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM FOR THE HURT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AND HAVE HELD IN FOR SO LONG AT LEAST THATS THE WAY IT LOOKS HE DID LOVE YOU AND WAS ALWAYS SO MUCH FUN WITH YOU GIRLS BUT HE ALWAYS WILL BE THERE LOOKING OVER YOU I HOPE IT HAS HELPED FOR YOU TO TELL ALL OF US ABOUT IT!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE GRAM
Oh! Thats so sweet and so sad.
ReplyDeleteThis picture is so sweet and nostalgic. I lost my papa in 1995, and I was old enough to be a comfort to my mom, aunt, and uncle during the wake and funeral. However, the pain of losing him is still palpable. I wish you could go back and be there for yourself, especially at such a young age.
ReplyDelete