Thursday, April 8, 2010

a not-so-happy post.

WARNING: This is not going to be a cheerful post. It will be a venting post. It will not be pleasant. You have been warned.

Generally my posts are positive in nature. I don’t vent much on here because a few of the people who know me (in “real life”) read my blog and then when they read about negative things in my life they ask me about it and I don’t want to talk about it and then it’s just a whole mess (that was a major run-on sentence).

Needless to say, I try and keep things copacetic on the blog and stick with neutral topics that won’t create too many inquisitions as to me, my issues, my mental health, etc.. (and this really only pertains to the concern that comes from the people I know in “real life”… talking online with my blog friends doesn't engender the same feelings that talking in person with my parents or my friends does… does that make sense?).

Anywho… here goes my blog post about the negative things and feelings I have been experiencing as of late:
  • My broken camera – I think it is actually on its way home (thank goodness). I am hoping it is actually fixed. I’ll have to wait until it arrives before I’ll know.
  • My period is SO late and is annoying me to no end (and no… I am NOT pregnant – my period is just really late). It has never been this late (I have posted before about my “fickle friend” – which you can read more about here and here). Usually, my cycle ranges in length from 28 to 55 days… currently I am on Cycle Day 59. Awesome. I have been keeping track of this junk for over 2 years and this is the longest it has ever been. Not impressed. Needless to say my hormones are driving my bananas!
  • The air conditioner in our Addition broke – the treadmill I use to exercise is in our Addition. This has made for a very sweaty work-out experience.
  • I have been very busy. With meetings, events, life, etc. When I am busy, I feel overwhelmed and stressed. It is just not good – and my calendar of events continues to be full for the near-future.
  • I have not been eating well (meaning that I have been overeating). This is not good. It just adds to negative emotions and feelings and that’s not good at all.
  • Hayden has been a bit challenging lately… very opinionated and bossy.
  • Financially things aren't that great which means that we probably won’t get to build our “dream home” any time soon (if we ever get to build it at all – which according to my mom is reality: that we won’t ever get to build it), which means we may look into moving into a larger home or doing some remodeling work on our current home. I don’t like the not-knowing aspect of this – all the ambiguity stresses me out.
  • My laptop is broken (and cannot be fixed). I am looking into getting another one, which is all well and good BUT costs money.
  • Randy has been super stressed at work lately - which rubs off on me - and not in a good way.

Those are some of my gripes. Nothing terrible. No one is sick. No one is dying. I should be grateful for everything I have and not complain… BUT I just feel so worn out and drained.

I wish I could just “tap out” and take a breather. Forget about all of my responsibilities for just a little while. But that’s not reality and that’s not possible. I just have to suck it up and move on – easier said than done though.

The end.

26 comments:

  1. Aww, what a whirlwind of stuff you've got going on.

    I hope things start to de-clutter soon. It's hard when stresses start piling up.

    I hope you have a good day.

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  2. We have all those days, and I can understand the ups and downs. Hope you find time to relax, and take a breather.

    Yesterday, I vented out on my post too! :)

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  3. Hey, never apologize for being honest, or for venting!! It's reality and it's life. We can't always be happy and sunshine all the time. So sorry to hear that things have been a bit hard!! It will get better...you'll see!

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  4. It's your blog - you can gripe all you want. And we need to know that even perfect people have crap weeks, ya know.

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  5. Couple of things I'd like to hit on. Your blog my friend, you write whatever you want. Makes you feel better to vent? Go for it.

    I've told you over this and over email several times that I am amazed at your spirit and your positive nature.

    Clearly nobody is perfect and at times we explode.

    Who cares who reads this? Sometimes you just need to get it out. Take this for example...

    'I wish I could just “tap out” and take a breather.'

    First of all that was funny shit and I bet that felt better just slightly, posting that.

    Vent away my friend, and thanks for the shoutout. I am actually glad I am your only male follower. I want YOU ALL TO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

    In a non creepy way of course ;)

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  6. I hope things start turning around for you soon. You are entitled to gripe, it is your blog :)

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  7. It does sound you have a lot going on right now and I'm glad you took the time to vent! I know I always feel at least a little bit better when I do. :) And you should never feel bad about having to post something not-so-happy from time to time! It's your blog and we're going to stick with you no matter what!!

    I hope everything gets sorted out quickly. *HUGE INTERNET HUGS!*

    PS. I can't stop looking at the chocolate mousse in the post below. OMG that looks delish.

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  8. I totally understand not wanting to go the negative route (especially when people may ask you about it), but sometimes we just need to get it out. Especially when so many little things are building up and you're trying to put words to just a generaly yucky feeling.

    Maybe you could see if your husband could watch Hayden for even an hour while you grab a cup of coffee or take a walk by yourself.

    I hope things take a turn for the better and thanks for sharing with us!

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  9. Rough patches suck!!!

    I hope that your 'stress list' goes down quickly. Just knocking one of the list helps so much when it gets that crazy.

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  10. Sorry that you're stressed! It must be something with this week--I have been feeling overwhelmed and just generally "down" for the last few days...Hopefully things turn around and we both start feeling better!

    Jamie

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  11. Awww, poor thing! I understand...but maybe the "nice" weather coming will help with the mood! If you were here...I would take you to Tim McGraw with me tonight...that would help ANYONE'S mood!! :)

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  12. A couple of things to cheer you up:
    -You're about to get over $1000! Randy said he would use the bball money to fix your A/C
    -My "friend" is even later, she hasn't visited since January. I'm cool with it! I'd rather her not come. (Not pregnant though!)
    -I'll take sweet little Hayden off your hands whenever you'd like me to. Ship him to Jacksonville for a weekend!

    Hope you get "better"
    -Mary

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  13. I'm sorry you have so much weighing on your mind! We're all allowed to have those sour moments every now and again, though! I hope things work themselves out for you!

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  14. You got a lot going on. And we all need to vent sometimes, it helps to vent.

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  15. It's the emergence of Spring I tell ya. THe weather is still up and down enough that you can't really plan anything new because you don't know if it's going to be warm or cool. Not needing AC for 3 months means that when you finally turn it on, you really need it, so it totally sucks when that doesn't happen. I can relate to the late aunt too. I'd rather she go away and stay away then show up late. I hope she comes soon for you. Those hormones drive me nuts too. Come fast and be short is what I tell her. ;) The weekend is coming though, and I hope you get a chance to tap out and relax. And I'm angry with your mom for crushing your dream. That wasn't nice.

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  16. Get out of your seat, out of the house. Go for a stroll, be it just a 5 mins walk. Free yourself from the confine space.

    We all have our ups and downs, its ok to vent, rest and do nothing for awhile, but do let go and move on after awhile ya. =) *hugz*

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  17. Hey! You are human!!! It is ok to vent. And those things are worthy things to be pissed over.

    I know if Tyler is pissy, then I get pissy and then Sarah is pissy. (Emily is a Tween and god only knows what gets her pissy)

    Also, venting always makes me feel a little bit better and I bet if you take Hayden to the Mango place, you will feel a bit better.

    Also, can you blow off anything and just have a day off?

    BIG HUGS!!!!

    PS. My cycle is every 24 to 26 days - how sucky is THAT! Last month it was 22 days!! SURPRISE!

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  18. It's okay. Venting always makes me feel better.

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  19. Hey, it's good to get it all off your chest, once in a while. I'm with you on the whole ambiguity thing. My husband is currently looking for a job. We will be leaving Boston at the end of July...we just don't know where too! It can drive a girl crazy. Hang in there!

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  20. Venting is a good thing! It seems like sometimes it all comes to a head at once, and those times are so tough.
    Hang in there!!

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  21. Awww, so sorry you're having a rough day! Just remember, it WILL get better, at some point. And I'm all about venting, especially when you can get advice from people who can give completely unbiased advice :)

    I assume you've discussed your irregularity with your gyno, but going 2 months without a period is weird. I mean, I go 7-8 months without one, but I do that intentionally. Have you ever been on birth control to regulate it? Sorry, that's super personal. Hopefully Aunt Flo makes her rounds soon ;)

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  22. You should have come and had a beer with me tonight (although you don't really drink). I have to get out every now and then (few and far between) for some alone time. It helps put things in perspective. We need to get together with Carolyn and go to JJs or something and vent together! : )

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  23. Good vent. I hope things turn around for you, hang in there!

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  24. Melissa, I've been out of town and been slow to catch up here and on FB. I hope the weekend presents some opportunities for relaxing and de-stressing, or even for good news. Can't wait to see you all on Sunday.

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  25. What is it with this Spring??? My little world JUST slowed down. But I could echo some of your gripes for real.
    Hope everything slows down for you soon. Blogs are good for griping--you feel better now that you wrote it all down, huh?

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  26. Even your vent was pretty polite!! Rough patches suck and hormones make everything worse. I used to have really irregular cycles like that - I took Vitex for almost two years, which I really believe helped regulate things a bit. Not perfect, but better. I also totally get you disliking the ambiguity...
    Hang in there! Bloggy friends are great for getting you through!
    ***Ally

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