My really good friend Katrice had her baby last night!
Jeremy 'Cash' Fields was born at around 10 pm (on 2.26.09) weighing in at 6 lb. even (he is 20" long). He was born with curly, brown hair. He was born nearly 5 weeks early, so he is fairly sizable for being born so early. I am wishing them the best and thinking about them. Katrice said that the doctors wanted to observe him for awhile just to make sure everything was okay (being that he was born so early), but all in all things are good!
Hayden is sick. Last night at around 8:00 pm, Hayden threw up in the living room. Very nasty! Then about 30 minutes later he threw up in the bathroom (on the bathroom floor). Then 30 minutes after that, he threw up in his bed. This process of throwing up every 30 minutes or so continued (with all the subsequent throwing up occurring in his bed) until 3:00 am, at which point the vomiting ceased. Thank goodness. In all, I think he threw up around 15 times.
I slept with him and attempted to get him to throw up in a trash can; however, he preferred to just lie back down and throw up on his bed… YUCK! We had to change the sheets and blankets a few times (as well as the pillows and pillow cases).
Needless to say, it was a very tiring night.
So, this morning I took Hayden to the doctor. The doctor said that (more than likely) Hayden has a stomach bug/flu. He prescribed him some anti-nausea medicine to be taken as needed, which I opted to give him as soon as I got my hands on it.
Currently Hayden is sleeping. Probably due to a combination of the medicine (which the pharmacist said could make him sleepy) and the lack of a good night’s sleep he had last night.
Here are some pictures of him sleeping… isn't he cute?... in a sick, adorable, yucky sortove way.
LOVELY! Well, I hope he gets to feeling better super soon!...
I do not like to cuddle. The only person I feel comfortable cuddling with is Hayden, but that is it. I do not like cuddling with Randy. When we cuddle, or rather when he tries to cuddle with me, I feel like I am being suffocated.
Now let me just say that during these moments he is in no way trying to smother me; rather, it is just how I feel. It makes me feel like I don’t have control, like I am trapped… and I need to escape. Needless to say, Randy and I don’t cuddle very much. There are a few times when I will “allow it,” but I have to be okay with it and it can’t last for very long (and by very long, I mean a few minutes… after 5 minutes of cuddling, I have to cease the cuddling and “break free”).
This is an issue with me. I’m not completely sure why, but I willing to bet that a lot of it has to do with my control issues… but anywho, onto the actual topic/incident I planned to discuss:
For the most part, Randy and I go to bed at different times. I go to bed at about 9:45 pm, and Randy generally doesn’t go to bed until after 11 pm. Weird I know, but I need more sleep than him… plus, he usually has things he wants/needs to get done after Hayden goes to sleep.
So the other night, I am in bed asleep. It’s about 11 pm or so, and Randy comes to bed. I am slightly awakened, but not enough to fully wake me until I “feel” Randy near me. He’s not touching me at all… he is just very close to me.
I am now more awake, and I say, “What are you doing?” His response, “ghost cuddling... you are warm...” What? He has totally made this “ghost cuddling” thing up… I am thinking, I do not like ghost cuddling, I know I am warm but you need to get to your side of the bed so I can get back to sleep… so, I say very sweetly “move, go away… I need to sleep.”
I then got out of bed and went to the bathroom (I know, too much information… but every time I get awakened by him when he comes to bed, I go use the restroom). After using the facilities, I returned to the bed.
Randy had retreated to his side… I felt kind of bad… he was being so sweet and just wanted to be near me, but I simply could not sleep with him that close… I need my space.
I attended Montessori schools from the time I entered 1st grade until I “graduated” in the 6th grade. I loved it and thrived in the Montessori setting. Everything was so orderly and neat. It worked well for me and my personality.
The other day I was talking with my dear friend Carolyn who was explaining to me how she had gotten kicked out of the Montessori School that she had attended (I think she was less than 5 when she got kicked out). Well, maybe kicked out is too harsh… she was kindly asked to leave (well, her mother was asked to find another school setting for her daughter). The reason she was asked to leave was because she didn’t do well at following all of their little rules: only get one “tray” out at a time, put the “tray” back to its proper place when you are finished, etc.. There are a lot of little rules you have to follow within the Montessori School setting, and obviously Carolyn had a tough time adhering to them.
So hearing Carolyn discuss her Montessori experience, it reminded me of my own experience and how much I enjoyed all of those little rules. Then it got me thinking about Hayden and how I “manage” his play with his toys. It is EXACTLY like Montessori! Every toy has its place.
In general, he gets one thing out at a time, plays with it, and then puts it back in its place. Now there are exceptions to this “rule.” Occasionally there is a blending of the different toys and that is alright. In addition, whenever we host playdates most all of the toys end up out and about (and again, that is perfectly fine)... and as an aside, every time we leave the house, before naptime, and before bedtime we clean up our toys. He does extremely well with this whole process! It is amazing and quite impressive… my clean, orderly little man.
Another exception to the rule involves his closet. It is orderly; however, he is free to make a crazy mess in there and dump everything out. When it is time to clean up the closet though (which is every night before bed), all of the toys return to their respective places. See pictures below of “clean closet” and not-so clean closet.
I seriously think that my Montessori upbringing had A LOT to do with this… it is ingrained within me: to be organized and neat. I am sure many of you reading this find the whole situation absurd and way too obsessive-compulsive… but ‘tis life and ‘tis me… it works for us, even if it is slightly unconventional.
This afternoon Hayden (and Randy and I) went to Elizabeth's birthday party... she is now 2! It was his first birthday party that he has attended (we did go to his second cousin's 1st Birthday Party when Hayden was 6-months-old, but I don't think that counts).
He had a fabulous time.
Here are some pictures:
In the picture below, Hayden is trying to join in on the adult conversation:
Here is Hayden trying to open the present he gave to Elizabeth... isn't he helpful?
This past weekend I went to my friend Katrina’s baby shower.
Here she is in all her glory:
I was one of the hostesses. Here is a picture of Katrina surrounded by the hostess crew. Starting from the left you have me, Katrice, Tori, Katrina, a woman I don’t know, Amy (Katrina’s sister), and a girl whose name I can’t remember (oops! I really should know her name…).
Katrice, Tori, Katrina and I are all very good friends. And as you can see (or should be able to see) from the above picture, all three are visibly pregnant (with Katrice and Katrina due at the end of March and Tori due at the end of April). When my three friends originally learned of their pregnancies they told me that I needed to join their “pregnancy posse”. Obviously, I declined their request.
I have to admit though that for while I was jealous of their little group. They are going to have an extremely special bond. Their children are going to grow up together. I will be unable to relate to them in regards to this extraordinary connection.
I felt alone and unique, and not necessarily in a good way; however, I am now completely fine with the circumstances. I am happy with Hayden, and I honestly don’t want another child right now. So although I wish the pregnancy posse the very best, I am exceedingly happy to have not joined their group. Happy birthing and baby times to Tori (and her yet-to-be born little girl Ava), Katrice (and her yet-to-be born little boy Cash), and Katrina (and her yet-to-be born little boy Bronson)! I wish you all the best!
To preface this post, I need to say that the following post should not be taken too seriously.
So here goes:
The other night Randy and I were talking about Hayden. The subject of his short stature came up. This has been a “concern” of Randy’s for awhile. It doesn't concern me so much. I mean, hello, I am 5’1”. I am used to being short and I think I get by just fine. That’s not to say that I wish I wasn't taller; however, it is what it is.
Randy wishes Hayden wasn't so short, and as he put it the other night “scrawny”. At a previous doctor’s appointment, a doctor had referred to Hayden as “compact”. Randy did not appreciate that comment. In fact, he seemed to take great offense to the statement. It didn't bother me at all, because Hayden is compact. I think it’s cute.
So during the conversation we took notice that Hayden is in the 25th Percentile for his height (and has been for awhile). He will probably remain in or around the 25th Percentile. Randy is 5’9”, I am 5’1”. According to the doctor, the best way to predict your child’s height is to average the parents’ height, divide by two and then add an inch or two if your child is a boy and subtract an inch or two if your child is a girl. Doing the math, that puts Hayden at about 5’7”… (note: the average height of American men is 5’10”… obviously, Hayden is shorter than that).
I jokingly told Randy that he should have married and had kids with his previous girlfriend if he was so concerned with this issue. She was at least as tall as Randy. With me, you get short. I mean, it’s genetics.
Then I said: “It will be cute, Hayden will marry a cute, petite cheerleader”. Randy’s response: “we are seriously devolving”. First we produce a “scrawny” person, and then he marries and produces an even scrawnier person. The devolvement continues...
I find the whole thing amusing, and let me just say that in no way does Randy “dislike" or "devalue" Hayden. He just wishes that Hayden wasn't going to be so short… but ‘tis life (and genetics). I am pretty sure that in time Randy will come to accept Hayden’s stature, and who knows maybe he will surprise us and be a giant. Doubtful… but Randy can dream.
Yesterday was Hayden’s 2-year check-up. It went surprisingly well until the doctor began the physical examination. At that point, the screaming/crying began. Not pleasant. We (Randy and I) had to physically restrain him to allow the doctor to look in his ears, nose, and throat. In addition, the stethoscope procedure was also challenging. Then there were the shots. He had two. Hayden was not a fan: more crying and physical restraint. Following the shots, it was time to go… and all was well again.
On a positive note, the doctor did comment on Hayden’s language and vocabulary noting that they were better than most two-year-olds. He said that Hayden was surprisingly easy to understand and had an expansive vocabulary (considering his history of ear infections that is a very good thing as it implies that his hearing hasn't been affected from the infections).
In all, Hayden was meeting or exceeding all the “2-year” milestones. Yay for Hayden!
Going into the appointment, I had accumulated several questions for the doctor. Following is the gist of our “conversation” in Question (Q) and Answer (A) format (I represent the “Questioner” and the Doctor represents the “Answerer”…):
Q: How much does he weigh? What percentile is that?
A: 25 lb. (25th %)
Q: How “tall” is he? What percentile is that?
A: 33” (25th %)
Q: Does he need to go to the dentist soon (note: he has never been)?
A: Yes. That would be a good idea. They used to recommend not going to the dentist until age three; however, now they recommend age two.
Q: Should he take a vitamin? Does he need to take a vitamin?
A: Yes. Since he is a picky eater, it might be beneficial for him to have half of a chewable vitamin (when he is three, he can eat a whole vitamin).
Q: He has now had 4 double ear infections within the past 6 months. Do we need to be referred to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist? Are ear tubes a possibility?
A: If he gets an ear infection next month (before April 1st), we will refer him to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. If he stays well for the next couple of months, he’ll probably be fine and ear tubes probably won’t be necessary. (The doctor didn't seem too optimistic. Given the fact that Hayden has had double ear infections every month for the past three months, it is likely he will have another one next month. The doctor gave me two referrals in case he ends up being referred within the next month and a half.)
Q: I was told by another doctor that he has “big tonsils” and that I should keep an eye out for “sleep apnea”. Do you agree? Does he have big tonsils?
A: Wow. Yes, his tonsils are surprisingly large. They may or may not ever be an issue though. Just watch for snoring, and let us know if that ever becomes an issue. At the same time though, the tonsils could be a contributor to the ear infections in that the tonsils may be impeding drainage.
I posted a blog post back in December about my lack of having a best friend. I have now decided that I do have a best friend. I actually have several. At my age though, I would prefer to call them good friends. It’s not the same “best friendness” that existed when I was a child; however, I think it works well just the same.
In my mind, I have various “rings of friendship”. There is the closest, primary ring, then there is the second ring, then there are two other comparable, yet separate rings, and then there is the “far outer ring”.
In the first ring there is just Randy. He is my closest friend. No one else even comes close. I share EVERYTHING with him. There isn't anything about me that he doesn't know. I love him with all my heart and he is and will always be my best friend.
After that primary ring, there is the “second ring”. Right now I would say there are three people in that ring: Sam, Katrice, and Jamie. The friendships that exist between me and these people are VERY different.
First there is Sam. Sam lives in Arizona. I have known him since I was about 14, although we didn't become friends until I was 17 (during the Summer of 1999). Since then our friendship has grown and diminished, and grown again. We are now very good friends who enjoy each others’ company tremendously. We actually haven’t seen each other in almost 3 years, but we text quite often. There is just some special connection there that is difficult to explain and is often misunderstood. But he is definitely one of my closest friends.
Then there is Katrice. I have known Katrice the longest. We met when we were in early-elementary school. (I would guess that maybe we were 7-years-old, but I honestly don’t know.) We grew up together. She lives over 200 miles away, but we still stay relatively close. We talk on the phone, text each other, and try and see each other in person occasionally. Katrice is my crazy, wacky friend. She is very outgoing and personable and has tons of friends, yet I know I remain one of her closest friends despite the distance.
Jamie and I have been friends since I moved here to Fayetteville in 1995. She took me in and befriended me at a time in which I was in desperate need of a friend. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her. She is kind, loving, sweet, and sensitive. She still lives relatively close (within 20 miles), although we don’t see each other near as much as we could or should. We are busy people….. well I am “busy people”. My schedule is pretty hectic, and unfortunately the time I spend with my friends frequently takes a back seat. I often feel like I neglect Jamie, but for some reason she is still my friend and I love her for it!
Now onto the next two rings of friends... this is when it gets tricky. These two rings are extremely different in composition and function, yet they are relatively equal in significance in my mind’s eye.
The first of these two rings is made up of Courtney, Dory, Katrina, and Tori. All of these people I have known for at least 13 years. I care about them all and I feel they are each close friends of mine. They are each unique, special people who I have remained in fairly close contact with throughout the years. And even though I might not consider them my “best friends” per se, they are still integral parts of my “friendship ring”.
The second of the two rings is comprised of Sarah and Carolyn. These are my two newest friends. I have known each of them for about a year, give or take a few months. We met through a shared “interest”: our children. It is odd how close these two friendships have become. It is not unlikely that they may become “second ring friends” one day. I see these two women every week: far more frequently than I see any of my other friends. We see each other for playdates. Mondays are with Sarah (and her now 2-year-old daughter Elizabeth) and Fridays are with Carolyn (and her 18-month-old daughter Ella). I have grown to care about these women and their adorable little girls. I do not know what I would do without them. Their companionship during the last year has meant so much to me (and Hayden), and I hope these friendships grow for years to come as our children grow up together.
The “far outer ring” is composed of “close acquaintances”. I am not even going to begin to list all of them. There are just too many! I would define this ring as people who I care about, but who I am not that close with. It’s as simple as that.
So those are my “rings of friendship”. I seriously doubt this blog post interests anyone reading it, but I wanted to write it anyways. So there you go.
P.S. I told Randy about this blog post and that he was my “best friend”… he laughed and said that was incredibly corny. Maybe he won’t be my best friend anymore (just joking… or am I?).
This afternoon I had a meeting. Fortunately, Randy was able to watch Hayden. I left at 12:45 pm. Randy’s duties included putting Hayden down for his nap.
Following is the current nap routine that I employ: beginning at 1 pm the lights and tv are turned off… then at around 1:30 pm the toys are picked up, Hayden goes potty, we get in his bed, we read stories, then he/we go to sleep.
Generally, Hayden is asleep by 2 pm (and sometimes I go to sleep then as well, although I almost always wake up after being asleep for 30 minutes and quietly leave the room and let Hayden continue his nap).
So, today I arrived home at 3 pm. First off, the house was a mess when I returned… apparently, Randy wasn’t aware of the “clean-up step” of the nap routine. Randy was obviously in Hayden’s room as his shoes were sitting outside the door and I couldn't find him anywhere.
Shortly after my arrival, Randy emerged from Hayden’s room. Randy reported that Hayden was very “testy” during the go-to-sleep portion of the nap process. Apparently, Hayden kept asking Randy to go potty and then proceeded to thrash about the bed (at one point knocking Randy’s contact out – Hayden did apologize for hitting his eyeball though, so I suppose he was forgiven). Eventually Randy was able to get him to go to sleep…. which is a good thing.
Just a little bit ago Randy was leaving to go to a meeting and this is what he said to me before he left: “You need to work one less job. I don’t know how you can ever get anything done with him.” Ha! I told him now that Hayden is older that I am actually able to get a lot done… and as long as he (or another competent caregiver) can watch him on the occasional dates that I have a meeting that I am fine with the current situation and my present workload.
I have to say though that I am thrilled that Hayden made it a little rough on Randy. It would be a terrible shame if it was trouble-free and stress-free, because quite simply life with Hayden is sometimes challenging and demanding.
I like that Randy realizes that things aren't always easy and smooth sailing and that staying-at-home with a two-year-old isn't always a cake walk. So thank you Hayden! I appreciate the “testy tirade” you exhibited today with your daddy; however, please don’t do that with mommy tomorrow (or any other day for that matter. I’m sure you will at some point in the near future, yet still, try to be a sweet, little, sleepy boy. That’s what mommy wants and deserves. Right?!?).
As a two-year-old, Hayden kisses us on our lips. Not a big deal.
Yesterday, Randy asked me a random question. He was curious as to when it’s no longer okay for your son to kiss you on the lips. I had actually wondered the same thing before. My answer was, whenever Hayden decides it’s not okay.
But I’m wondering…does anyone else have any insight on this subject? Is there a general age at which it’s not really appropriate for little kids (or I suppose little boys in particular) to kiss their parents on the lips? Is there a general age at which kids decide it's not okay to kiss their parents on the lips?
I really enjoy taking personality tests. The "Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment is a questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions”.
Essentially, it is a personality test. I took it years ago (when I was about 10), and I turned out to be an ‘INFJ’. To this day, I remain an ‘INFJ’. I am very proud of this. It is the rarest type (only 1-3% of people) which makes me feel unique and special, and I like that.
So what does INFJ stand for you ask?
The most dominant aspects of my personality within this personality type are the introversion and judging, and they are VERY dominant.
In terms of the introversion, I tend to be quiet and reserved and prefer to interact with only a few close friends as opposed to a group of people. In addition, being around a lot of people drains me. I need to be alone to “regroup” and regain my energy.
As for the judging, I have a strong need to plan activities and make decisions early. I get a sense of control through predictability: impulsive and spontaneous I am not.
The intuition and feeling aspects aren't nearly as dominant. Their primary representations within me are that when making decisions I tend to give more weight to feelings and social considerations than to logic (this is the feeling component). In addition, I also tend to trust “flashes of insight” that just pop into my mind (this is the intuition component).
As an INFJ, I am very sensitive and “complex.” I tend to be easily hurt. I am a perfectionist who doubts that I am living up to my full potential… I am me.
Yesterday was ‘Valentine’s Day’ at Hayden’s “school”. The reason 'school' is in parentheses is because he only goes two mornings a week and technically it is actually a ‘Mother’s Day Out’ program. But we call it 'school'…
Anywho. I had asked the teacher previously if they were going to be having a Valentine’s Day party and whether or not I needed to bring Valentine's Day Cards or anything. She said “no” (although she did say that they were going to have a special snack... the gist was that I didn't need to do anything for the occasion). I was perfectly fine with this scenario. Hayden could really care less about having a box to put his Valentines in and passing out Valentines (he would want to keep the Valentines for himself).
Also let me just add that before asking his teacher this question, I had actually already purchased Valentines for Hayden (thinking that they were going to need them - there had been something in the School’s February Hand-Out about Valentine’s Day Parties and handing out Valentine’s Day cards).
So we got to school and lo and behold other parents had purchased and distributed Valentine’s Day cards (in the students’ “cubby holes”). Fifty percent (4 out of 8) of the parents had participated in the V-Day Card distribution process...
A strikingly similar incident occurred at Christmas when Hayden received several gifts from his classmates (also distributed via the cubby hole process). These gifts were small and far from extravagant; however, they were sweet and generous all the same (and again, Hayden (and his mommy) were not gift givers in this situation either).
For some reason I feel awful. I know I shouldn't but I do. I want to be the good mommy who does everything she can for her child. I don’t want Hayden’s classmates’ parents to think I don’t care about their kids or that I’m a bad, neglectful mom (in truth I know they don’t, but I’m just so sensitive and paranoid about these types of things).
Now let me also add that I am not mad or upset at Hayden’s teacher or his classmates’ parents. They are all great, wonderful people… and no one did anything wrong in this situation and no one is at fault for anything… in reality, there really isn't anything wrong.
So yesterday afternoon I wrote thank-you notes to those sweet, kind children (well, really their parents – or rather their moms) who bestowed Valentine's Day gifts upon my son. I did the same thing at Christmas.
It makes me feel like a better mom for at least saying ‘thank you’… and next year, all of Hayden’s classmates will be receiving Christmas and Valentine's Day gifts.
When I was pregnant with Hayden I read an article in a magazine that depicted a family’s tradition with their daughter. Beginning with her first birthday, they dressed her in her grandmother’s vintage bathing suit and took a picture. They did this every year as they watched their baby daughter grow from a toddler, to a child, to a young woman. It was amazing and adorable and I thought it was a wonderful way to show in photos how their daughter had changed and grown.
When Hayden was born, I tried to think of a way that we could accomplish the same tradition with him. I wasn’t about to put Hayden in a pair of my Grandpa’s old swimming trunks (not to mention the fact that I didn't have any). That simply was not going to work.
Randy and I talked about it. We wanted the item to be something simple, yet classic. Something a boy/man would wear that would convey timelessness and class. The answer: a men’s white-button down shirt (from the Gap no less).
So last year on Hayden first birthday we took the first pictures. Here is one of them...
And this year, we took the second ones. Here is one of them...
We plan on continuing this tradition annually until Hayden is at least 18 (or until he refuses to participate in the tradition anymore). Pretty neat, huh? I am SO glad I saw that article!!!
Like I have previously mentioned, I have trouble sleeping. My mind will not shut off. Last night was a particularly “bad” night. I simply could not stop thinking and then it started storming and the constant flashes of lightening and thundering booms kept me awake. Needless to say, I did not sleep well.
Neither did Randy. He had trouble getting to sleep too.
So this morning, Randy approaches me all serious and says, “You know how you have trouble sleeping sometimes and your mind won’t shut off? Well last night I had the same problem. I couldn’t stop thinking about something.” He paused at this point, as I eagerly awaited the conclusion to his little narrative… so then he said: “I’m in love with Kelly George.” He said this and then immediately began giggling. I knew as soon as he proclaimed his “love” that this whole interaction was a joke. He thought it was the funniest thing (he later admitted that he had spent at least 5 minutes working on this little “joke”).
So who is Kelly George you ask? Well, she is the morning news anchor for our local NBC news station, KNWA. She was also Miss Arkansas 2007. In addition, she is a “second lieutenant in the United States Air Force”.
In truth, Randy does find Ms.George attractive. During a previous conversation months ago when I asked him if there were any celebrities or people that he found appealing he told me that he thought Kelly George was pretty. So it has been a running joke that he “likes” Kelly George… for instance, sometimes if we see her on the news I will say something like, “there is your girl”… it’s all in jest, and his little joke was pretty funny.
So there you have Randy’s “little secret”: he is a major dork who likes to joke about his secret love for Kelly George.
Here are some pictures of Miss Kelly George… she looks significantly different now than she did when she won Miss Arkansas in 2007… still a pretty girl. Just different.