Monday, October 26, 2009

career paths.

So in asking for suggestions regarding future blog posts, my sister recommended that I blog about my future and whether or not I ever want a “career” (and if I do, what that career might be).

So here goes…

To begin with, I asked my mom what I had wanted to be when I was little. More specifically, I asked her, “When I was little, what did I say that I wanted to be?” Her answer: A doctor. When I was little I was rather sickly. Not deathly sick by any means… just lots of allergy issues. I was at the doctor’s a lot: getting allergy shots and what-not. I loved it! I loved the attention I got. It made me feel special (note: I still love going to the doctor, being a patient, etc. – I really like being cared for and attended to)(note: Hayden HATES the doctor...).

So I wanted to be a doctor. As I got older though, the blood and gore associated with being a doctor disagreed with me so I changed my mind and decided I wanted to be a child psychologist. My friend’s mother was a child psychologist and her career and job appealed to me. Plus, I could still be a doctor and I wouldn't have to mess with the “yucky stuff.”

Then, I wanted to be a marine biologist… still a doctor of sorts. Although the main reason I wanted to be a marine biologist was because I didn't want to eat seafood and being a marine biologist gave me a good excuse not to eat it because I couldn't eat what I worked with (at least in my 10-year-old mind this sounded like a good argument).

Then I didn't think about my future for awhile. In high school, I really liked writing although my English teacher didn't make me feel like I was a good writer. My work was too dark. She rarely gave me an “A”. This prompted me to think that maybe writing wasn't my forte. I did like Psychology a lot in high school and I was really good at it. I took an AP Psych class and did very well in it. I understood Psychology. I enjoyed it and it made sense to me.

So that is what I majored in when I went to college. Not a good decision in retrospect. You can’t do much with that degree. Looking back, I wish I would have become a speech pathologist or maybe even a lawyer. Something more practical.

When I graduated, I went and taught 2-year-olds for a year. While teaching, I realized that I was drawn to certain children. I wanted to work one-on-one with the kids who needed more help and attention. This is not possible as a teacher… so I decided maybe I really did want to be some sort of child therapist. The easiest and most appealing way to accomplish this goal was to go back to school and get my Master’s in Social Work. So that is what I did.

At the same time though, I wanted to be a mother. For some time, I had the idyllic dream that I would be a stay-at-home mom to two kids, two years a part, while my husband worked and supported the family (while also helping our tremendously in the parenting department – I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am traditional in some ways but I certainly didn't want to do it all. I expected Randy to help out as much as he could).

A few days before I graduated (getting my Master’s), I found out that I was pregnant with Hayden. I was elated. I was going to be a mother. After conferring with Randy, we decided that I would be able to stay-at-home with Hayden. This did result in one significant “compromise” of sorts. I decided to let my Social Work licensure lapse. I am appreciative of my education and my degree; however, for the time being I have opted to be a mom and not be a Licensed Social Worker (note: don’t get me wrong, it is possible that I could have done both but I didn't want to… I “just” wanted to be a stay-at-home mom).

So that is essentially where I stand now. I am a highly educated stay-at-home mom, and I am happy. Seriously. Now that isn't saying that I don’t have my “bad moments” or “bad days”. Sometimes life can be very mundane, yet stressful.

I do keep myself quite busy volunteering. I am co-chair of the Women’s Giving Circle’s Grants Committee, I am a member of the Junior League, and most significantly I am President-Elect of Peace at Home Family Shelter. These volunteer jobs keep me quite busy and require a good amount of time.

I also blog. I’m not getting paid for it (although that would be WONDERFUL), but I think of it as a job. It’s my outlet. It’s my hobby I guess. Although it feels more important than that: it’s more like a means of communication that I feel compelled to distribute and impart.

Now back to the initial question: Do I ever want a “career” and if so what? Honestly, I’m not sure. In a few years, we may have another child. If that happens, I want to be able to stay-at-home with him/her too. Therefore, I may be a stay-at-home mom for another 6-8 years. Wow. That is a long time!

Either way, once I'm done procreating I’m still unsure what I will do (procreating... that sounds SO funny!). I may want to continue being a stay-at-home mom, although I may find myself bored at home all day alone. Then again, volunteer jobs could keep me very busy and they are jobs too (just non-paying ones). Another thing I think I would really like to do is work at my son’s current school as an assistant teacher. The ratios at the school are small and the school is wonderful. I really think I would enjoy it and be good at it. I could work part-time or full-time: also very appealing.

That is really all I have my eyes on right now in terms of my future “career.” Who knows though? Something else could always come up!

I will admit though that if I was a more career-oriented person and I hadn't met and married Randy… if I didn't have Hayden… if I didn't want to be a mother… essentially, if the situation was different, I think I would be a good lawyer or judge (for children). I’m not sure if I would really enjoy it though. A Speech Pathologist for Children though… that might have been a good, better fit. But seriously… who knows?

This is my life and really… it’s not too bad.

P.S. To Mary: I bet you never expected this kind of blog post when you recommended I do a blog post about my future career.


  1. Good post! I'm glad I recommended it.

    Whose mom was a child psychologist? I don't remember that.

    I'm not sure where my "career" will take me. I also would like to stay at home with the kiddos, but I think I would get too bored and I'm pretty sure Clark's salary can't keep up with my lifestyle.


  2. Very interesting post. I never graduated college but if I had I still would have chosen to be a stay at home mom.

  3. i guess hayden and i are holding you back. our bad. you are a busy lady. i see why you love those court tv shows.

    -randall k.

  4. Ah... I totally relate.

    I love the title 'latte lady' being thrown about these days.. AS IF I have the time or money to go to Starbucks after dropping off my kids at school (heck, I gave up the car when I gave up my job). I have too much to do to play around! And I don't think I'm the exception to the rule...

    You can't go wrong choosing your kids.

    Funny to see this - as I just decided I'm going to go back to school for English/writing when we move back to AR. It was my dream as a child to be a (children's book) writer (and illustrator).